Bullying is not often seen in negotiation. I think this is because in many negotiations, the parties need to be able to work together after the negotiation is complete, and bullying just leaves a very bad taste in the mouth of the person who was bullied. Having said that, some negotiators take that tack and it can be hard to deal with if you really want the deal for some reason. The bully is, in effect, counting on your unwillingness to break up the deal to push you into all kinds of concessions.

If you really are afraid to break up the deal, this tactic can be very effective. Experience indicates that once the bully realizes that his tactic is working he will use it over and over and will push on every point. Experience also indicates that reasoning with a bully wont help (contrary to what I suggested in a prior post – that a good reason often trumps all sorts of negotiating strategies). The bully logic is fundamentally not reasonable. It goes something like this: You want X so badly (or you need X) so I am going to push you around on every issue by threatening to not give you X.

The only way to deal with a negotiation bully is to have an alternative and be willing to use it. This strategy can be very difficult for some people, especially if the alternative is not so great. However, the bully has to hear "no" (probably more than once during a negotiation) or else you are likely to end up with a deal you don’t like.